We are so grateful to announce the safe arrival of our son, born at 38+5 weeks and weighing a very healthy 3.9kg (8 lb 11!).
As an obstetrician facing labour I can happily say that this time around I was terrified. Working on labour ward on a daily basis, I am regularly involved in managing birth when complications occur. I also had the memory of going through it once before to tell me what the pain would actually feel like… If anyone tells you that you will forget the pain, they are lying!
I think a birth story is a difficult thing to share. Birth is deeply personal, and the experience means different things to different women. If you are pregnant now, you may only want to hear positive success stories. If you recently had a difficult or traumatic birth, it might deepen the wounds or the guilt that you feel to be presented with an experience you may feel robbed of.
My page contains a range of information and guidance based on evidence rather than focusing on individual experiences. However, I also wanted to share my personal experience here, and I hope you find it helpful or enlightening in some way. If you feel that there are unanswered questions or concerns about your own birth, I really encourage you to have a birth reflections/debrief appointment with your obstetric team, which you can usually arrange by contacting your maternity unit, GP or health visitor.
Pre-labour
For the week preceding labour, I was aware that ‘something’ was happening. I was feeling the occasional painful tightening, and I saw my mucous plug. (Sorry if TMI!)
My darling son somehow allowed me to complete my last day of work, at the end of which I had a sweep (the perks of working in a maternity unit) and a session of acupuncture.
At the time of my sweep, I was already 2-3cm dilated. This meant that my body had already begun the process of labour, and is a situation when a sweep has a fairly good chance of success!
Overnight
I returned home at 6pm, and the contractions began to slowly build. It was in no way similar to my previous birth, where I had 36 hours of on-off contractions! These were regular from the start, coming every 3 minutes.
We timed them (I used an app called Contractions) and although the app kept telling me to go to hospital because of their frequency, I knew I was coping well through the pain so probably wasn’t very far along! Instead I took a bath and tried to get some sleep.
At around 2am the contractions became much more painful and I had no doubt that I was in labour. I wanted to try to keep a balance between attending hospital too early and getting sent home if I was less than 3cm dilated, against the risk of delivering the baby in the car (my previous delivery happened within 45 minutes once I was in established labour!).
Active labour
By 6.30am, I was struggling to cope. I desperately wanted an epidural so we went to the hospital. I arrived and was 4cm dilated, so I could be transferred to a labour ward room and prepped for an epidural.
Once I arrived in the room, I began bouncing on a birthing ball. I realised I was actually coping with the contractions really well… I was using hypnobirthing techniques, and was being gently encouraged by my incredibly calming midwife Carrie. We played gentle piano music and although the contractions were painful, I was able to enjoy the breaks between.
I nearly backtracked from getting the epidural but decided to go ahead so that it was in place for if I needed it. Of course once it was in and working, I was in complete bliss!
As time proceeded, the contractions slowed down. Thanks so the mobile epidural I was able to move onto the birthing ball and bouncing helped bring the contractions closer together again.
At 11am I stood up to mvoe back to bed, and my waters broke taking everyone by surprise!
From then on, things moved quickly and I progressed to being fully dilated. However, I had to be on a continuous CTG monitor due to the epidural which I found very difficult as an obstetrician! All my instincts were telling em to watch the trace, especially as I began to notice signs of fetal distress. However, I also knew that my labour was progressing quickly and without external intervention so far. I tried to focus on my own breathing, and allow the medical teams to judge the trace for themselves.
As the trace was deemed to be concerning, we began pushing as soon as I was fully dilated. After 40 minutes, which actually felt like it went extremely quickly, my son was born straight onto my chest.
He weighed a very healthy 3.9kg, and remarkably, my perineum was intact (no tears!) which I am sure was a combination of perineal massage, and my midwife performing a hands-on delivery with warm compresses.
My Reflections
I am so grateful that we had an extremely positive birth experience. I was looked after by the brilliant @midwifemamame, who took on the challenge of looking after an obstetrician and keeping me calm throughout. Her hypnobirthing and pregnancy massage techniques helped us to maintain the best atmosphere.
It truly was an unforgettable day!
Whilst my birth was a very positive experience, this doesn’t mean it was seamless – there were scary moments and I suppose others may have interpreted it differently.
Here were some of the ways I focused on having a positive experience rather than the specific birth outcome:
🤳🏼Preparation is key – Staying active in pregnancy and regular perineal massage helped in so many ways; I feel these steps helped my labour to begin spontaneously, before my due dates and progress well. I also believe the perineal massage surely contributed to me birthing a nearly 4kg baby without any tears! By taking steps to prepare for birth, this instantly helps you to feel empowered and in control.
🎵Calming music – cliche but true! A labour ward can be filled with a lot of terrifying sounds that it’s better to drown out…
🏃🏼♀️Staying active and changing position – I was able to move (with a lot of assistance, even with an epidural!) which meant I felt some control over my positioning and therefore my labour, especially when it seemed the baby wasnt descending as fast as expected.
💆🏽♀️Focused on what was going well at each point rather than what was going badly eg positive changes in the cervix. Otherwise being told there isn’t much change in your cervix from your previous examination can be disheartening.
👩🏽⚕️I had complete faith in the people looking after me. Maybe it was easier because it was a place I worked, but if you spend your time questioning or criticising every decision and person you won’t have a positive experience.
Try to create a rapport with your midwife and don’t feel shy in saying your preferences.. Do you want:
- To be offered pain relief or to see how it goes?
- Encouragement during pushing or to do it on your own?
- A hands-on delivery where the midwife slows the head or to birth freely?
Thank you in advance for all your kind wishes – we are loving our newborn bubble and also excited to share what we learn along the way! 💕💕💕
